10 ways to build a happy relationship

1. Give room for individuality.
No matter how much you love a person, you still have to let them have their space. Realize that you are both individuals living your separate lives, with different background and experiences before you became couples. A relationship will thrive when you give room for each other to pursue their own things and not always wanting to be in their face. You will choke them while doing that and one day they will seek a means of escape.

2. Embrace the beauty in difference.
A popular quote says that opposite attracts. While this may not be the case in all relationships, you should realize that there is something different in each individual and that the perspective of a couple cannot always be the same. Don’t make it your business to try and change them into seeing things from your own perspective all the time, allow unity in diversity to reign in your relationship.

3. Make compromise where possible
For a garden to remain beautiful and appealing it means a lot of work and sweat went into it. This is true also with relationships. If you want a lasting and happy relationship, then you must be willing to bend most of the time, to forgo self and just compromise on things that always lead to friction and more friction in your relationship. This is however not a scenario of bending till you break, no. It’s a matter of working hard at changing some of the character, actions, habits, behaviour and activities that seem to mar rather than solidify your relationship.

4. Break all strings of obsession
Remember that before you even knew he existed, he was already living a life that totally excluded you. And now that you are both together, you should aim to complement his life not take over it. You should not try to make yourself the only sun that set in his/her life. Doing that will only result in over-crowding him and turning you to an obsessive freak. Obsession is a trait that only leads to depression, restlessness, emptiness amongst other feelings; it will threaten your relationship and leave you in despair.

5. Spend time together
Yes, there are bound to be quite a lot of things taking up your lives apart – work, school, business, family. One way or the other you wouldn’t be spending the number of time you wished you could with your partner. But like they say, where there is a will, there is a way. Even in all that activities, try to squeeze out time; thirty minutes, an hour or less to be together and enjoy each other’s company. During lunch breaks, before takeoff, planned get-together, all these should be a means for you to spend time with your partner.

6. Trust and respect each other
Suffice to say that trust, honesty and respect are key ingredients to building a lasting and happy relationship. Loving a person means respecting them, it means being honest and not taking their trust for granted. Once you and your partner can establish these key ingredients in your relationship, the benefits are amazing.

7. Appreciate the other people in each other lives.
True, jealousy streak may rear its ugly head, but you have to hold yourself and realize that your partner had a life, has met people and is from a family before he or she met you. Just because you started dating doesn’t mean that these people would disappear into thin air. Their parents wouldn’t really stop being the harsh and intolerant persons or the kind and welcoming people they were. You only have to make all effort to become a part of his/her life together with the baggage that comes with the people in their lives. Nobody is perfect in any case.

8. Always communicate your thoughts to the other
Thankfully, nobody yet has the power to read other people’s thought, so do not think that love would magically make your partner a mind reader. It would neither make them able to always understand you through your actions, attitude and body language. Communication is a key for a happy relationship. Tell your partner how you feel, how their actions hurt you, why you want to take a particular action, just keep talking, it will help to resolve a lot of issues. Even if you’re the reserved type that doesn’t like talking, you just have to be able to communicate with the one whom you love.

9. Work on your relationship
Do not believe in the myth that love alone is enough to guarantee a happy relationship. Your effort coupled with love is what will make it work. Both partner need to maintain a consciousness that they have decided to love another in a special kind of way, and for that reason make conscious effort not to break that promise. All conflict along the way should be resolved, all grievances sorted out; compromises and sacrifice should be made. Everything beautiful doesn’t just happen, they require a certain amount of work, and this is also true of relationships, career or business.

10. Cut down on your expectations.
While love makes you feel afloat, you should not put all your well-being and happiness on another person, so much so that their actions or inactions always tend to pull you down emotionally. Happiness is something that should start from within you, before loving a person deeply, love yourself first. It is only then that you can truly be happy and be able to love another.
Take time to do things that make you happy, pursue your own path in life and only depend on your partner minimally. Don’t give up the big dreams you had before meeting them, if they only want to change you drastically, then you should probably run out of the relationship before you drag yourself down in heartbreak and emotional aches.

Final words: these are just a few things to do to be happy in your relationship, but let’s admit that this list are not set in stone, if two or more of it can adapt readily unto making your relationship a happy one, then there’s nothing to lose right? 🙂


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