The pressure is real, the longing even more. But what can you do? It is only crazy ladies that engage and marry themselves and even crazier ones who bend on one kneel in proposal to a guy.
Dear single ladies, being single isn’t a crime and being married isn’t an achievement on its own… you need more than that to make you happy as exemplified in the life of Linda Ikeji.
One lady whom I admire and believe should be a role model to the singles out there wallowing in self-pity and low esteem because they are not ‘settled’ yet is Linda Ikeji. If there’s a public figure that has received backlash and criticism from the Nigerian audience over marriage, it is Linda Ikeji. But guess what, she has rolled it off her back and kept striving to make a name for herself in Nigeria media industry.
But alas! On a beautiful Wednesday, Instagram buzzed with her engagement story as close friends and family took to their Instagram handles to congratulate her. Typical of her, she didn’t make it a trending story nor pulled publicity stunt with it. It was her personal matter regardless and there should be a limit to how public it got right?
Anyways, these are the lessons I learnt from it and believe single ladies out there should too:
Stay positive, it will come when it will.
Bringing negativity into it will only make the wait tortuous and depressing. Simply believe that your time to be married will come, the man that the universe has predestined for you will come, and if you are not opposed to marriage in totality, then believe that ‘None shall lack their mate’ according to the bible. You read quotes saying people’s time and phases are different, then why not wholly believe it, thanking God for life as it is and enjoy each day as it comes.
Get busy, build up your life
Like Linda Ikeji, get busy; learn a new skill, pursue a career path, learn and develop yourself. A man cannot give you these things but yourself which are still beneficial for when you finally settle down. You should also have something to offer in your marriage, so instead of waiting and yearning for your prince charming to come to your rescue, it is better to rescue yourself and be your own princess charming.
Don’t give in to depression or petty jealousy.
Like Linda, be glad for your friends, colleagues, sisters and classmates when they get hitched. Support them with marriage preparations whenever you can in good faith. Believe it’s their turn today and tomorrow yours will come.
Don’t lose your morals or self-discipline
Very importantly also, there’s no need to hop from one man to the other in a bid to test the waters and meet with luck. I dare say that wouldn’t augur well for you. Even though it may be tempting to give out your number easily, keep a date with all the party in twon or go out of your way to be friendly to most men that come around you, if not properly handled, this might make you look cheap and desperate. So be a woman of class and choice, do not try to sell yourself through nudity and compromise, for you may end up attracting the worst of them.
Be open to love and give people chances.
Finally, be open to love and men with your self-respect intact. Don’t go seeking for someone who checks all your extraordinary characteristics in a man. You are not perfect neither is any man out there. It is better to look for more realistic traits and together work through your relationship with the man of your choice and do not judge from outward appearances only.
What will be, will be. Live your life and enjoy it to the fullest while waiting for your destined husband.